It is Sunday here on the planet Mars, and just, like on Earth, it is a day, for most, to praise their creator. The Yellow Martians are off celebrating to their most unpopular God, which gives the other Martians the opportunity to make fun of them without their knowing about it. What a heavenly thing to do. There’s nothing better than a good bit of gossip and a bit of fun-poking behind another’s back after a day of suffering through a preacher’s sermon of the opposite.
The thing I find most interesting is those of the-faith-tha- isn’t. This would be what we on Earth call atheism. I asked some of the red Martians about this the-faith-tha- isn’t phenomena because I was curious to know if their atheists were as devout in their faith in somethin-commin-from-nuthin as our own atheists. They told me that even though they can’t explain how somethin comes from nuthin, and even though it is just as unprovable that there is no God as there being a God, their devotion to their faith is as unwavering as that of the Yellow Martians to their unpopular-God. In fact, the devotion of some of the members of the the-faith-tha- isn’t is so strong that they go door-to-door recruiting new members of the congregation. They even lay in wait at airports and bombard unsuspecting Yellow Martians with little pamphlets that seem to end up in the trash receptacle or used as quant book markers in the catechism books of the Unpopular-God.
Many of the planet’s climate-change scientists, who by the way haven’t been able to solve the climate equation (though they’ve been at it for over a century), are members of the-faith-tha- isn’t. This gives their faith a lot of credibility…especially since they’ve got this funny looking fellow by the name of Gork, who wheels himself around in a solar-powered scooter (apparently he’s a bit crippled up), tellin this world that he’s the smartest man on the planet. He tells them that there is no possibility that there is a God of any kind. He hasn’t been able to tell them how he knows it for a fact, so it is still considered a faith, but his followers seem to follow his words as though they were the word of God, so I’m thinking maybe he’s the Messiah the Yellow Martians claim to be waiting for.
I’m hoping like hell that this Gork fella isn’t the Messiah that the Yellow Martians are waiting for. I’d like to think that the real Messiah can walk for Christ’s sake! Perhaps even on water if called upon to do so. Perhaps this Gork fella is just waiting to perform his first miracle after he’s built up a greater following. Maybe, since he’s the smartest man on Mars, he’ll even figure out how to make himself walk again!
Wouldn’t that be a grand way of recruiting a bunch of new members of the-faith-tha- isn’t?
Well, I must be going now. I’m hoping that my own God can hear me even though I’m a full planet away from where I last prayed. My God isn’t so special as Gork is though, what with his funny little scooter and all. He doesn’t wear any fancy suits like Gork, and truth be told he’s been abused a bit by those that claimed to love him, but I like my God just the same.
I think I’ll stick with him a bit longer…at least until this Gork fella starts to work a few miracles of his own.